The First Step In Dealing With A Problem is Admitting It.

bluejuh (9:04:42 PM): Wanna hear something slightly embarrasing, possibly too personal, and definatley emasculating?
kashmiri (9:07:34 PM): yes!
bluejuh (9:07:39 PM): You know how some people have pent-up agression? So much anger and stuff that's been built-up for such a long time with no reasonable outlet that, one day, they just can't take it anymore and explode..
bluejuh (9:08:44 PM): I don't have that problem, but I have something close to that and possibly even more dangerous:
bluejuh (9:09:12 PM): I have too much pent-up affection.
kashmiri (9:14:39 PM): !
kashmiri (9:14:40 PM): oh,
kashmiri (9:14:46 PM): oh you are wonderful dzeimz.

Lip-Gloss

Lauren and I have formed a plan to rectruit people for the other to make-out with:

lauren (1:54:35 PM): thank you. yes blue eyes
lauren (1:54:39 PM): and HOT please
lauren (1:54:44 PM): oh and straight
lauren (1:54:59 PM): any preferences yourself?
bluejuh (1:55:46 PM): someone who smiles.
lauren (1:55:57 PM): is that it?
bluejuh (1:56:01 PM): and doesn't use too much make up
bluejuh (1:56:08 PM): especially lipgloss
lauren (1:56:14 PM): ooh that'll be a little tougher
lauren (1:56:16 PM): why's that?
lauren (1:56:25 PM): i feel like a hideous beast without makeup
bluejuh (1:56:48 PM): a lip glossed mouth is an anti-man slime machine
lauren (1:56:54 PM): lol
lauren (1:56:57 PM): good to know
lauren (1:57:05 PM): when i want to ward guys off i will wear lip gloss
bluejuh (1:57:26 PM): It'll attract men, because men like shiny things
bluejuh (1:57:42 PM): but should they kiss you, they will instantly regret it.
lauren (1:57:42 PM): ha ha ha...and you are just out of the norm, i spose?
lauren (1:57:52 PM): ha ha ha ha
lauren (1:57:59 PM): you are funny
lauren (1:58:06 PM): actually, i must admit i know this
lauren (1:58:30 PM): when i wanted to embarass the marines i've dated, i wore LOTS of lip gloss
bluejuh (1:58:46 PM): :)
lauren (1:59:25 PM): and kept putting more on after we would make out so he'd have it all over him when he got back to base
lauren (1:59:28 PM): hee hee
bluejuh (1:59:51 PM): hah
lauren (2:00:07 PM): actually it gave them attention from the other guys and gave him something to gloat about, so maybe it wasn't so bad
bluejuh (2:02:47 PM): you should try to get as much on the unifiorm as possible
lauren (2:02:53 PM): ha ha
bluejuh (2:02:57 PM): especially if it's pink or purple
lauren (2:03:01 PM): they don't wear the uniform when we go out
lauren (2:03:08 PM): it's not allowed
bluejuh (2:03:14 PM): especially if it smells like watermelon
lauren (2:03:18 PM): they could lose all their rank and pay
lauren (2:03:19 PM): ha ha
lauren (2:03:36 PM): mine DOES smell like watermelon and i have one pink and one purple!!!!!!!!!!
lauren (2:03:41 PM): ha ha ha
lauren (2:03:42 PM): :)
lauren (2:03:46 PM): i'm serious though
bluejuh (2:03:59 PM): what good is making-out with a marine if he's not in uniform
lauren (2:04:13 PM): he's still hot
lauren (2:04:32 PM): and they tend to be well experienced in the realm of making out
bluejuh (2:04:40 PM): (pink watermelon is the most annoying, in my personal opinion)
lauren (2:04:58 PM): well i guess i can never kiss you then
bluejuh (2:05:08 PM): unless you wash-up first
lauren (2:05:14 PM): never
bluejuh (2:05:34 PM): okay then, I guess I'll just have to suffer in slime.
lauren (2:06:19 PM): no i think it might hurt our friendship ;)
bluejuh (2:06:20 PM): Seriously though, every guy hates lip-gloss, no one ever says anything about it because they enjoy kissing.
lauren (2:06:34 PM): hey you have to read this. it's what otto wrote about the topic
bluejuh (2:06:49 PM): being kissed with lip-gloss sucks, but it's better than not being kissed at all.
lauren (2:07:04 PM):hmmm, indeed men dislike the transfer of lipgloss onto there own lips, it reminds them strangly of bot those latent homosexuall feelings that we all harbor in our darkest harts and of the overprotective mother who assaulted us with chapstic when we were young. however, it does taste good, and accentuates the attractiveness of a females lips. it makes them say "kiss me" and like the magpie men have no choice but to steal them in hopes of bringing them back to the nest
lauren (2:07:39 PM): so go kiss someone and don't be picky about whether or not she has lip gloss on
bluejuh (2:08:19 PM):I'll still feel like I walked into an attractive, friuty-smelling rat-trap

More on the goods and evils of Lip-Gloss in the expanded version.

Best Pick-up Line Ever

bluejuh (7:28:19 PM): There is no emoticon that accurately describes my feelings for you.